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Exception.Yesterday was the exception to my rejection. It was my one day that I had asked for, with him. There is nothing left to ask for now. The day itself wasn't so great. The time i spent with him was what i was focused on. Every moment thinking about what I was doing. Wondering if it was all even possible. Or if maybe i had decided to daydream while i felt vulnerable. What is there to be upset over now? I don't even know. My feelings have turned their backs on each other. I intend to chase after what I want, and it seems clear tException.
by ~amberwentleft
It was there, I knew it.this wasn't all of a sudden. The upcoming feeling of rejection had always been there. Although i saw it coming, my throat dried. My head felt empty, there was nothing else to think about this situation. I couldn't see anything, except him standing in front of me. He'd been standing there for awhile now surprising motionless. He would leave soon enough, he never stays forever. id be back into my head soon enough. When even more awkward time had passed, he still hadn't left. I was beginning to feel close. I would say he'd leave soon, but i felt reassured that he wasn't. &nbsIt was there, I knew it.
by ~amberwentleft
It's not your fault anymore.That was wrong in so many ways, i don't think i could tell you all of them, not even in my lifetime. He was violent, he was angry, in need of anger management. But would he get that control? No he would not, he cant commit and finish anything. He came off strong and intimidating, but as a person, he was weak. I was better than that, i was above being an angry person. Yes he scared me. but he's stupid, he doesn't know anything out of his horrible own selfish life. He would never know. he would never be forgiven. He thinks he can do better, but i don't wait around for useless things. It doest matter what he says anymore, I no longer listen or cIt's not your fault anymore.
by ~amberwentleft
I miss you, brother.Those short moments where i thought i was feeling better about life, i was really lowering myself. shit.I miss you, brother.
I was intoxicated, and i thought about the fact he was alone in the ground.
Buried, he literally was.
I was wishing i could talk to the dead.
wishing I could be there too.
I wish I could talk to the lj i really knew, years ago.
No one asked for it.
"He loved you most amber, probably out of anyone."
especially not me.
You could tell he had an impact on my life, and many others.
But now that
by ~amberwentleft
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Devious Info
- Current Residence: over there?
- Interests: music, literature, writing.
- Favourite movie: Donnie Darko
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- Favourite poet or writer: Richard Brautigan
- Favourite game: Super Nintendo.
- Personal Quote: Well-behaved women rarely make history. -Marilyn Monroe
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